ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
