found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
