you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
