if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm like, not good at living.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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