No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
