WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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