After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
