He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
