Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
