When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Randomize