she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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