between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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