True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
