I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
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he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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