i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
