If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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