have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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