My first STD was from a foam party
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
