Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
