Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
