Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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