I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
NoShamevember. You game?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
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