is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
