How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
