I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
