hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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