i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
