so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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