I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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