No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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