I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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