its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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