Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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