If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
