I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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