my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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