Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
