just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
