I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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