You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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