There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
bring money and cleavage
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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