She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
