i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
