Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
