And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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