She is in my trunk
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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