better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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