The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize