im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
These tits shall not be calmed
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