We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
