Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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