Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
