im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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