I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize