OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
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I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
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Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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