Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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