But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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