why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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